The Adoption Process

When you go through a divorce and have children with your soon-to-be ex, things can get very complicated. Custody and child support aside, you and your spouse will need to figure out how to effectively co-parent following the divorce--which is often easier said than done. To make things easier on both of you, there are a few co-parenting dos and don'ts that you'll want to keep in mind.

DO Work Out a Consistent Schedule

Remember that consistency is key when it comes to maintaining a stable and happy life for your children. Therefore, one of the biggest goals of co-parenting (at least in the immediate future) should be working out a consistent schedule that both you and your ex can agree upon. In working out the schedule, keep your children's best interests in mind above your own. For example, you might want to keep your children every day during the week, but if your ex will be living much closer to the kids' school, then it might be in the children's best interest to be with your ex during those days--at least during the school year. Talk with your divorce lawyer to help you decide what is a fair schedule for each party.

DON'T Speak Badly in Front of the Kids

One of the most important things to remember when it comes to co-parenting is that it's a team effort, despite the divorce. This means being careful to never put your ex down or speak badly about him or her in front of your kids. This will allow your child to have an equal relationship with both parents and to form his or her own opinions.

DO Learn How to Effectively Communicate

This is skill learned by trial and error, but it's important nonetheless. At the beginning of your co-parenting days, communication isn't always going to be easy. As time wears on, however, you will both figure out what works versus what doesn't work in terms of co-parenting. Maybe you find that having phone conversations about the kids often leads to arguments because your ex is always interrupting you; consider, then, having parenting discussions via e-mail, where you can be certain that you won't be interrupted.

DON'T Be the Unbalanced Parent

Finally (and this all ties back to consistency being key in your children's lives), make sure that you and your ex are both being as balanced in your parenting as possible. This means enforcing the same rules in each household (bed times, homework rules, etc.) and avoiding trying to be the "fun" or "cool" parent. Just be the best parent you can be while working with your ex to make co-parenting a success.